hai.. so sad.. hmm.. maybe its because only when you feel it, you will know it.. thats why i know why my cousin wanna die.. the feeling is there.. i am better than him.. i get to u turn back.. but he did not.. he is still going straight which is quite serious.. hai... only child not like only child.. my cousin is my only play mate.. when i was so young, my parents dont even let me answer sheryl phone call.. truly, ask yourself.. is there a need to be so strict?? a few calls wont cause your life isn it? now i got a feeling that my parents are not real., i do hope that they were illusions.. i see them only in my night mare.. if you go through it.. sheryl.. you also seen be fore.. not only my cousin.. rmb few years back.. my phone got problem.. you were at my house and see how barbaric she is.. did my dad help me?? no... really dont have.. and i didnt hear sorry before.. ask myself alot of times, is it fair.. this is not once or twice.. its so many times that i dont even rmb each one clearly.. i also wanted mum care and concern.. but she dont talk, i dont wanna talk to her.. then i will sick of looking at her.. not talking with each other.. their world is really too complicated... i have so many question marks.. and i really dont understand.. may be right not people seen this will argue that no matter what, they are still your parents.. they have you and support you.. ya.. this is fact.. fact that they need a child to tell the world only.. and support.. go check dictionary.. they are only using $$ to support.. whats more its not enough.. true.. my heart dies for them.. feel like some one extra.. when you really feel this, you would know.. do you ever heard that i go watch movie with my relatives?? no right? i dont even have a meal with them nicely.. so i dont interact with them.. and my parents.. they dont really think about me.. its not that having to call me will ask me where am i, lock the door and dont let me in after 6.. did your parents do that? this is call inhuman.. really.. lock out knowing she did it purposely.. and my dad still wanna help her some more.. 
may be.. i can only depend on other things.. my goal.. my goal is to live happily.. untill i am taken away from angel.. i know still need a long long time.. thats true enough.. help me through if you are my friend..
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