:(

sad.. i dont understand.. why they dont love me still have me.. if they think i am extra, then dont bother to have me included.. or rather, they want me to be as perfect as i am when i am born.. perfect to that stage where every parents want their children to be.. its true that i am very imperfect.. because i believe every one has their srtong and weaknesses.. no one will be so perfect that no body will object.. every one learns some thing every day.. we learn a skill.. not born with a skill.. i believe bill gates wasnt born with computer skills.. he learn also.. but the problem now is.. my parents gave me a feeling that let me thinks that i am really tired and its useless to communicate with them.. i believe every one will say, we also find it difficult.. then stress again.. but, i am getting extra stress every day from them which was avoidable.. maybe some cannot.. but partly shouldnt be.. for example. i dont really feel well today.. too tired.. but i got some home work, so, i trying to make myself alert.. but now.. i feel very angry.. just angry.. nothing else.. this is what happened today..

as due to the ching ming festival coming, my parents decide to buy that ind of paper house or paper cars for my ah gong and they did.. as there were alot of people, the total amount of the things they bought should be around $30 and they end up paying $50.. ya.. its not their fault.. customers is always right. then they grumble and grumble end of say never mind.. then i say there is a need to get back the $$.. its not the issue of whether are you generous or petty.. its all about moral.. about priciple.. and obviously, i said, we should get it back. and if you know me well, i will first tell them to go back find that person or cll them or do what ever they can. but they think about it and say dont want and say forget it.. then when i probe a further bit in, my dad say none of my business and shut up.. fine.. its not my business.. its their business.. the daddy is his.. that person not my ah gong lor.. ya, i now free thinker, i think freely, i find no point having to take joss sticks go temples with smoke and makes my self cough and hazard my health... there is no need.. but being a family member, i still do things like helping my dad to burn joss sticks for my ah gong.. and what did i get? i did that just out of my own thinking.. blah blah blah.. and now.. they still dont even bother about me.. then what ever i did no need explanation le.. if i faint in my room.. they dont even know... -_-''

so now... dying soon.. no one will really bother to the whole chunk of post ike this.. so long i see liao also feel sleepy.. haha.. *yawn* jia you bah...